The Homemade Stuffing Caper Read online

  Scarlett had joined Henry and me in the backseat. She held the cage containing Socrates on her lap.

  I leaned over to her. “Case closed,” I said.

  “So, you really did it, Charlie,” she said.

  “But not alone.” I smiled at Henry, and nodded to Gram and Eugene. “And don’t forget Sherman and Chicken Bone.”

  Scarlett leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “Well, now that Socrates is safe, how much do I owe you?” she asked.

  I was feeling generous. “That smile is all I need …”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Henry chimed in. “That’s my area if you don’t mind. I’ll take it from here.” He turned to Scarlett. “So, Miss Alexander, here’s how I figure it.”

  Scarlett rolled her eyes.

  “I don’t know what Eugene’s cut is,” Henry continued, “but if you consider research, legwork, surveillance, and expenses, and if you take inflation into account, the going rate these days …”

  CHAPTER 17

  The Dog Daze Caper

  When we returned to school following spring break, it was hard to get back into the routine. Our lives had been turned upside down just a few days earlier. And there was a buzz throughout the entire school about the whole Rupert Olsen incident. The local newspaper had run a series of articles regarding the matter. The stories referred to a quartet of twelve-year-old heroes. We had become mini-celebrities. I think Scarlett enjoyed the attention the most. The only oddity was that the stories never mentioned the names of Eugene or Grandma. Though the articles did mention that a lot of the credit should go to two individuals whose identities would remain hidden, they were careful not to divulge their names. Chicken Bone, whose real name I never did learn, maintained his anonymity as well.

  The police, as you might guess, were eager to question Olsen. In exchange for a lighter sentence, the accused not only divulged all of the gory details of his illegal bird business, he also provided authorities with a list of private collectors who had purchased his stuffed masterpieces. He even explained how he had duped Sherman into believing that he was performing a noble act by helping free all the caged birds. When the police were convinced that Sherman knew nothing about Olsen’s illegal taxidermy business, and that he had actually helped the rest of us escape from our captor, they decided not to charge him at all.

  As Henry and I waited at the bus stop after school that day, fellow classmates peppered us with questions about our ordeal. I thought it best to downplay our efforts. Henry, on the other hand, soaked up the glory. I was fine with that. When our admiring fans had finally disappeared, it gave us time to reflect.

  “So what’s next?” Henry said. “You gonna stay with Eugene permanently now?”

  “Well … ,” I said.

  Henry appeared nervous. It was almost as if he were afraid to hear my answer.

  “It only makes sense that he’d want you back,” Henry said.

  “I suppose now’s as good a time as any to tell you,” I said. I knew that would get his attention.

  “Tell me what?” he said anxiously.

  I looked around to make sure we were still alone. I knew it would help build the suspense.

  “Eugene and I had a nice little chat on the phone last night,” I said.

  “And?”

  “And he asked me to continue on at his agency,” I announced.

  Henry looked away, shuffled his feet, and avoided eye contact. He was clearly disappointed.

  “I knew it,” he said.

  I don’t think he was quite ready for the next words out of my mouth. “But I said that I wasn’t interested.”

  Henry smiled. “What?”

  “I told Eugene that I really appreciated the offer, but that after our little adventure, I now realized that the big score isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. It’s dangerous. A guy could get killed out there.” I knew exactly what was going through Henry’s mind at that very moment. He was picturing us back as a team, back in our garage, and back in business.

  “You don’t have to tell me the big score is no picnic,” Henry said. “So, how did Eugene take it?”

  “He sounded a little disappointed, but he seemed to understand. He told me that if I ever reconsider, he would welcome me back.”

  Henry leaned over to see if the bus was coming. “Well, I have to say—that was pretty nice of him.”

  “And he also asked if I’d think about joining him on a case-by-case basis. You know, if he ever gets in over his head and needs a little assistance.”

  Henry slid the backpack off his shoulder and dropped it onto the sidewalk. “So what’d you tell him?”

  “I said sure. If you think about it, that’s the perfect situation. Every so often, I get tired of these lightweight cases of ours. It’ll be nice to have a chance to jump back on board for a real challenge—but just not every day.”

  And it was the ideal solution. The script couldn’t have worked out better if I had written it myself.

  “That is perfect,” Henry said. “Sooooo, where does that leave us?”

  “Back in business, if you want,” I said.

  Henry threw his arms into the air. “What are you talking about? Of course,” he said excitedly. “You know, I’m really glad to hear you say that—’cause I booked a client for today.”

  I shook my head. Had I heard him correctly? After a near-fatal experience, we had a little R & R coming. No need to jump back into the saddle so quickly.

  “You did what?” I said.

  “I know that your mom always does her grocery shopping on Monday afternoons. I figured it was okay.”

  The unmistakable rattle of Grandma’s clunker put an end to our conversation. She pulled up to the curb and rolled the window down. “Get in, gents,” she said.

  “I didn’t know you were picking us up today, Gram. Mom didn’t say anything about it.”

  “She’s not privy to classified information. Hop in.”

  “Henry too?”

  She nodded.

  I have learned over the years never to argue with Gram, even if I have no idea what’s happening. Henry and I jumped in the backseat. Gram proceeded to the entrance of the school playground and stopped.

  “Anything wrong?” I asked.

  “Nope. Just gotta pick up another fare.”

  “Who?”

  “You’ll see.”

  And just like that, we noticed Scarlett running to the car. She got in the front seat next to Grandma.

  “What are you doing here?” Henry asked.

  Scarlett shrugged. She apparently had no idea either.

  Had we somehow become embroiled in yet another mystery? The three of us said nothing. We waited for Gram to enlighten us, which never happened. We drove through town wondering what could possibly be up. We eventually pulled into our driveway and waited for the answer.

  “Everybody out,” Gram said.

  We stood on the sidewalk in silence, awaiting our next order.

  “I’d like to have a little chat with the three of you—in there,” she said, pointing to the garage.

  We entered through the side door and waited for Gram to spill the beans.

  “I might as well just spit it out, boys. Charlie … Henry … I would like to nominate Scarlett here for induction into your private detective agency.”

  We looked at each other in dismay.

  “Gram, I didn’t know Scarlett was interested in joining us.”

  “Why don’t you ask her?” she said.

  I turned to Scarlett. “Well … are you?”

  Scarlett seemed confused. “I’ve never actually considered it.”

  “See, she doesn’t want to join,” Henry said.

  Grandma placed her arm around Scarlett’s shoulders. “I saw you in action the last few days, dear. You’re a bright young lady with great intuition. Charlie and Henry could use someone like you. You should think about it.”

  “Well,” Scarlett began, “as scary as it all was, I have to say that I did
kind of enjoy myself. I guess I wouldn’t mind helping out here … if they want me, that is.”

  “You don’t sound too convincing,” Henry said. “And you’d have to prove yourself.”

  “I’m just going to leave you kids here to discuss things,” Gram said. “You know how I feel. Give it some thought.” She smiled and slipped out.

  An uncomfortable silence followed. The thought of seeing Scarlett not only in school, but working at the agency each day, was dizzying. I wasn’t sure if I could concentrate with her seated right next to me. But I was willing to give it a shot. To be honest, I wasn’t certain if Scarlett possessed the necessary skills to be a real private investigator, but I certainly wasn’t going to veto her joining us. Henry, on the other hand, would undoubtedly put up a fuss. Convincing him that she was qualified would be the toughest challenge.

  “So, now what?” Scarlett said. “Do I have to take a test or something?”

  Henry thought to himself for a moment. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

  “We don’t have any tests to give her,” I said.

  “I just thought of one,” Henry said. “Here goes—a cowboy rides into Dodge City on Sunday. He stays three days and raises a ruckus. The marshal asks him to leave. So he rides out of town on Sunday. How is that possible?” Henry sat down in a lawn chair, crossed his arms, and smirked.

  Scarlett seemed puzzled. “He rides in on Sunday, stays three days, then rides out on Sunday?”

  “Yeah, that’s about it,” he said.

  She thought hard for a couple of minutes. Henry’s smile got wider as each second passed.

  “I don’t know.” Scarlett placed her hands on her hips. “And that’s just what you were hoping for, isn’t it?”

  “I’m just trying to see if you measure up, that’s all.”

  “Well, the whole thing is stupid,” she said. “Who cares about some dumb riddle?”

  “It’s not some dumb riddle,” Henry said. “It’s a test of your deductive reasoning skills. And they gotta be operating at peak performance to work here.”

  “So, what’s the right answer?” she said.

  “Charlie, would you like to do the honors? If you know the answer, that is.”

  “I haven’t heard this one before … but … if he rode into town on Sunday … stayed three days … and rode out of town on Sunday, there’s only one possible answer.”

  “And that is?” Henry said.

  “Wait a minute,” Scarlett said. “I got it.”

  “Be my guest,” I said.

  “His horse was named Sunday,” she announced.

  Henry groaned.

  “Well, looks like she passed,” I said.

  Henry was having a hard time processing what had just happened. “Yeah, she passed the first test.”

  “Aw, c’mon,” I said.

  Henry was now deep in thought. He was determined to come up with another riddle—one that was guaranteed to stump Scarlett. But a knock on the door suddenly put this oral exam on hold.

  “It’s not over,” Henry said as he pulled out the card table and opened it up.

  I quickly set up a couple of lawn chairs. “Scarlett, please let our next client in. And, by the way, welcome to the team.”

  “She’s not in yet,” Henry said.

  When Scarlett opened the door, I was shocked, to say the least. Standing there was Sherman. And, you know, I was actually happy to see him. That wasn’t always the case. Had he shown up on our doorstep a week or so ago, I would have shuddered.

  “I got an appointment,” he said.

  “Come right in and have a seat,” I replied.

  Sherman dropped into the lawn chair across from the desk.

  “So, what brings you here today?” I asked.

  “We got a little problem at home, and I thought you might be able to help.”

  “I’ll do my best,” I said.

  Henry and Scarlett pulled up chairs and sat on either side of me.

  “We just bought a new house,” Sherman said.

  “That’s good, right?” Henry said.

  “Yeah, but I’m having a problem getting our pets to the new house.”

  “What sort of problem?” Scarlett asked. She was fitting right in.

  “Well, we have a dog, a cat, and a mouse.”

  “That’s an interesting combination,” Henry said.

  “Here’s the problem. My dad doesn’t allow any of the pets to ride in the car, so I have to move them to the new house. On my bike. And I can only carry one at a time.”

  “So what’s the big deal?” Henry said. “Make three trips.”

  Sherman frowned.

  “Is there any reason you can’t do that?” I said.

  “Well, yeah. We can’t leave the dog alone with the cat ’cause they’ll fight if no one’s around. And we can’t leave the cat alone with the mouse … or no more Mr. Mouse, if you know what I mean.”

  Scarlett grabbed a legal pad from the card table. She started jotting down some notes.

  “What do you think?” I asked her.

  “Why don’t you ask me?” Henry said.

  “I will … in a minute.”

  “I’m not sure,” Scarlett said. “Every combination I come up with won’t work.”

  “Okay, Henry, how would you solve this?”

  “How the heck should I know? I just wanted you to ask me first.”

  “I’ll ask you first next time, okay?”

  Henry nodded.

  Apparently it was up to me. I tried my best to visualize the process of transporting the animals in such a way as to avoid bloodshed. Every time I thought I had reached a solution, I realized that it was faulty. Then I thought about Sherman’s problem in a different way—not just moving the pets from the old house to the new one, but actually moving one or more of them back to the old house if necessary, and then returning them to the new house. A minute later, I had it.

  “Okay, Sherman, try this: First, you need to take the cat to the new house, and leave the dog and the mouse at the old house. Then go back to the old house and take the mouse to the new house.”

  “That won’t work,” he said. “They can’t be alone together.”

  “Let me finish. You take the mouse to the new house. And you take the cat back to the old house. Then you take the dog to the new house, and leave him with the mouse. Finally, you can go back to the old house and pick up the cat and take him to the new house. You might get little tired of all the trips, but the pets will arrive happy and healthy. What do you think?”

  “My head is spinning,” Henry said.

  Sherman seemed to reflect on the proposed solution for a minute. “You know, I think that just might work.” He reached out to shake my hand. “How much do I owe you, Collier?”

  Right on cue, Henry ran over to the workbench and returned with the money jar.

  I waved him off. “Sherman, after everything we’ve been through the past few days, this one’s on the house.”

  Henry threw his head back and groaned. It was a familiar sound.

  Sherman lifted himself out of his chair. He was smiling. “I appreciate that. Okay, then, I guess I’ll see you guys at school tomorrow.”

  He was barely out the door when Henry began shaking the jar in front of my face.

  “How are we ever gonna make some money if you keep giving away the store? And have you forgotten?” he said, nodding in Scarlett’s direction. “We may have three mouths to feed soon.”

  “Oh, so does that mean you’ve given your blessing for Scarlett to join the agency?”

  “Not quite,” Henry said. “She’s gotta pass another test.”

  Henry wasn’t making this easy. In the event that Scarlett failed his next quiz, I somehow had to convince him that the inability to solve a brainteaser shouldn’t prevent someone’s admission to the Charlie Collier—Snoop for Hire agency. But how could I make that happen? I thought about it for a minute, and then it hit me. Who better to set the example than Sam Solomon?
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  Sam was certainly no stranger to partnering up with a new associate whenever he found himself in a jam. He did it a bunch of times—like in Episode #9—The Dog Daze Caper. In this particular case, Sam was hired by a woman who wanted him to find out why her French poodle had suddenly become aggressive. Sam knew he was no animal behaviorist—so he teamed up with one. And with her help, he soon discovered that a local veterinarian, whose business was failing, was behind it all. The vet had apparently drugged a number of expensive purebred dogs during routine office visits. Later, when the owners called to report the animals’ sudden aggressive behavior, the vet convinced them that their dogs had contracted a rare virus which had caused them to go mad. He offered to euthanize the animals at no charge. When the unsuspecting owners dropped off their pets, the vet injected them with an antidote which cured them. He then sold the high-priced canines for a tidy sum. If Sam hadn’t teamed up with a new partner, he never would have figured it out.

  I was now armed with the ammunition I needed. If Scarlett was to fail Henry’s next test, I was prepared to share this particular Sam Solomon tale. I was certain I could make him see the light.

  “So, are you all ready for your final exam?” Henry said.

  Scarlett sneered at Henry and shot me a disapproving glance.

  “Listen,” I said to Scarlett, “if it were up to me, you’d already be in. This isn’t my idea.”

  Henry gritted his teeth, and was just about to fire away when a knock at the door diverted our attention.

  I looked at Henry. “Did you book anyone besides Sherman?”

  “No,” he said.

  “Then who could this be?” I said.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Why doesn’t someone just get that?” Scarlett said. When neither Henry nor I responded, she shook her head, sighed, and opened the door.

  I think it’s safe to say that none of us expected to see the person who was standing in the doorway.

  “Eugene?” I said. “What are you doing here?”

  “Your grandma told me I’d find you kids in here.”

  “What can we do for you?” I said.

  “Listen, Charlie, I know you told me that you prefer working here and solving cases for your friends, and I can respect that. But you also said that you wouldn’t mind helping me out on occasion. Is that still the case?”